Why We Stay?

Better yet, why did they abuse us?
I couldn't tell you how many times I have been asked this question!
There are many reasons why we may not leave. Not leaving does not mean that the situation is okay or that the victim wanted to be abused. Leaving can be dangerous, the most dangerous time for a victim who is being abused is when she tries to leave. (United States Department of Justice, National Crime Victim Survey, 1995)
Some typical reasons the abused stay with their abuser

• Has no other support system available (friends, family, etc.).
• Stays because of the children.
• Believe that they don't deserve better treatment.
• Religious or cultural beliefs.
• The good times outweigh the bad
• The abuser promised to get help
• Gain a sense of worth by care-taking the abuser.
• Lack of self-confidence.
• No place to go.
• Loyalty to the abuser takes precedence over emotional or physical safety.
• Belief that "it will change if I just try harder."
• Commitment to the relationship.
• Inability to follow through with leaving - return to the abuser again and again.