Who Are The Abusers?

Your sister, brother, mother, father, friend, lover, co-worker, doctors,
lawyers, and the list goes on. Abusers can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status.
Abusers are not easy to spot, there is no typical abuser. In public, they may appear friendly and loving to their partner and family. They often only abuse behind closed doors, they also try to hide the abuse by causing injuries that can be hidden and do not need a doctor.
Abuse is not an accident. It does not happen because someone was stressed-out, drinking, or using drugs. Abuse is an intentional act that one person uses in a relationship to control the other. Abusers have learned to abuse so that they can get what they want, The abuse may be physical, sexual, emotional, and psychological.
Abusers often have low self-esteem, they do not take responsibility for their actions. They may even blame the victim for causing the violence, in most cases, men abuse female victims. It is important to remember that women can also be abusers and men can be victims.

Typical traits, attitudes and behavior patterns of the abuser.

• Have poor coping skills.
• Low self esteem.
• Unreasonable and demanding at times.
• Blame the victim, other people or outside events for the violent attack.
• Express remorse and beg for forgiveness with seemingly loving gestures.
• Can be hard workers and good providers.
• Can be witty, charming, attractive and intelligent.
• Extreme jealousy.
• Recklessness. (dangerous sexual behavior, reckless driving, drug use etc.)
• Inability to respect interpersonal boundaries, a compulsion to violate boundaries.
• Inability to accept responsibility for their behavior and actions, even in the face of dire consequences.